I had the pleasure of finally screening the film, “Race to Nowhere” a few weeks ago. I certainly appreciated the film’s examination of the effects of state testing on teachers, students, and the craft of teaching.  However, I found myself frustrated by the repetitive story thread of the students “stressed” by high school academics and activities.  As a college counselor, the story is tiresome and there is simply no reason for the stress.

 The problem is that too many students are aiming to gain acceptance to the same elite group of colleges that take 7-15% of their students.  To get into those schools, you need to be truly exceptional in every way.  To get into those few schools, you do, in fact, need to work like crazy in high school. Why are the elite schools so much more selective nowadays, and why are kids fixated on those colleges?  First of all, there is demographic data pushing the acceptance rates.  As the population of students has grown with the echo of the baby boom, the elite colleges have not expanded enrollment.  In addition, as the common application has made applying to multiple colleges easier, applications have risen.  Finally, the colleges started marketing to students like crazy to lower their acceptance rates, thereby improving their “ranking.”   

 An increase in applications only explains part of the picture.  Why are so many students fixated on the same schools, when there are 2000 colleges out there?  Not to mention that a majority of them take 80% of their applicants.  There should be enough colleges for everyone, with no stress.

The students in Race to Nowhere mostly came from upper class and upper middle class backgrounds.  The parents of these students can often be hung up on colleges that were selective when they were applying to schools.  Unfortunately, they need to broaden their own understanding of the college landscape.  Colleges that were once selective may be ridiculously selective today, and even unreachable for most great kids.  Parents need to understand how ridiculously competitive these colleges have become, and realize that perhaps they aren’t even a good fit for their student anymore. 

 Other students featured in the film were striving for better financial aid packages.  However, instead of making themselves sick with stress trying to win money at top schools, the students should have worked to expand their college list to include schools that would appreciate them.  While an elite school may not offer a scholarship, the moderate school might value your application and offer more money.

Parents need to understand that as those elite colleges have become more selective, the next tier of colleges has also become more selective.  The next tier is now getting many incredible students that in other decades would have been walking the halls of Harvard and Yale.  Thus, the workplace and broader world will soon be filled with many talented people from a variety of names.

Hopefully parents will start to shift their thinking and find schools that are the right fit for their children.  Ideally, students should make the most of their high school years, but not make themselves sick.  Students should follow their passions, and live a life for themselves, not just the college applications.  Colleges want students who live authentic lives, not lives of pleasing others.

So many of my client parents have been struggling as they send their babies off to college.  The transition for parents may be more challenging than for the students themselves. Hang in there parents!  You are not alone and colleges are trying to help.  They understand how difficult it can be to transition from parenting a child to parenting an adult.  The LA Times recently wrote a great article on the ways in which colleges are trying to cushion the transition:  http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-parents-20100829,0,5909576.story

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/14/jobs/14starts.html?_r=2&scp=2&sq=julie%20b

 The individualized attention independent counselors give students helps them find colleges their families can afford, make the most of visits, and pull together an excellent application. 

I have been encouraged in recent years that, despite the recession, my clients have received fantastic financial aid packages from colleges.  Part of the success has been helping students find colleges with strong endowments that can help meet their need.  I have also tried to match students with schools that will “want them” based on their profiles, and offer them scholarships. 

However, even upon receiving a strong award, many families still feel unsure about their ability to pay the estimated family contribution (EFC).  Some fear they may lose their job, or their own business may suffer. It is important for families to remember that they need to be in contact with the financial aid office and keep them updated on their financial situation.  If a parent loses a job, or becomes ill, most colleges have a financial aid appeal process.  By filling out a special circumstances form that describes the hardship, families most often receive more aid.  It is also important to remember that students apply for financial aid each year, so if the circumstances change, the award will also change.

 While some colleges won’t negotiate financial aid, some will.  Simply asking for more aid may not work.  Families need to explain their particular hardship, or how their circumstances have deteriorated since filling out the FAFSA and Profile.  In addition to explaining their changing circumstances, families should lay their cards on the table if another school offered more money.  Families should honestly tell college A that the student has received more money from college B.  Although the student would rather attend college A, due to finances they may need to choose B, and can college A match the offer? 

It is important to be pleasant and calm during financial aid negotiations, as no financial aid office wants to deal with a nutty parent for four more years.  It is important to remember the people in fiancial aid are human, and they want to make it work for the students they have accepted.

Check out this great article on colleges that are good for paddling!the-nations-best-paddling-colleges.html

It is so helpful to utilize a college consultant when faced with the application process. Many families need the individualized assistance provided by these counselors. See the attached article to learn more about it.Great article on college consultants